


The Groom Wore a Loincloth

by misura



Category: Alpha Flight
Genre: Alternate Ending, Gen, Mostly Dialogue, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-18
Updated: 2012-07-18
Packaged: 2017-11-10 06:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snatches of conversation overheard during the wedding reception that would have been the talk of Manitoba (if only anyone had known about it).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Groom Wore a Loincloth

Weddings.

Joyous occasions, to be sure, if not usually in comics, since Real World Events notwithstanding (to say nothing of classic literature), in the wonderful world of comics, superheroes rarely save the world simply by saying 'I do' - or by listening to someone else say 'I do'.

The reason that we find ourselves here, then, can only be that Something Is About to Happen.

(Either that, or we simply ran out of ideas for other stories. At this point though, we're not telling.)

 

So, then.

The location: somewhere in the Western Canadian wilderness.

The occasion: a wedding.

The guests: too many to list, although to be found among them are, of course, the all-new, all-different _Alpha Flight_.

 

"What's up, doc?"

Spoken by the lovely Zuzha Yu to a somewhat downcast looking Doctor Walter Langkowski, this could well be considered a Dramatic Moment.

"Could you perhaps try not to imitate an American cartoon character?"

And so the moment passes, as we come to realize that this is merely filler, a conversation to while away the time, possibly with expositionary elements yet to come but even so.

"You don't look very happy." Do scientists ever? Studies on the subject have been inconclusive so far.

"Nice weather, isn't it?"

And that would be our cue to leave these two, because once we start talking about the _weather_ , well.

 

"Does the living embodiment of vengeance know how to jive?" The real question is: does anyone in Kemteron know how to play one?

"The living embodiment of vengeance carries a very sharp blade which she would be fully prepared to use on someone stepping on her toes."

"My dear girl, I've known how to dance since before most of the people here were born."

 

"I didn't think your people would approve of gay marriage."

"Wouldst thou expect us to merely bemoan that one as desirable as I will soon be counted mong the unwed no longer? ('tis a valid point, I grant thee.)"

"No, just ... two men. Together. Even _our_ government took some time getting used to that one."

"Two men? Canst thou have forgotten thy comrade in arms already?"

"Zuzha? Not at all."

"Then what meanst thou with this talk of two men? A mighty warrior such as myself surely couldst not be expected to bestow the honor of his devotion and affection upon merely one bride. (Thou arst too pale and thin for my tastes, though.)"

"I see. So ... Zuzha is your bride and Lou is _also_ your bride."

"Thou kickst in doors already opened."

"Fascinating. You know, in most places, this would be illegal. People just don't feel anyone should get married to more than one person (although there's exceptions, of course)."

"What fools thou mortals be."

 

"You look nervous, Major."

"Well, it's a big day for me, sir. I just wish my father could have been here. Or my brother."

"Indeed. It's not every day you get married to a girl like Zuzha ... and the heir to a lost civilization."

"Miss Yu is a very lovely young lady. Also, I believe, technically not my wife. Rather, she and I have both become wife to Yukotujakzurjimozoata."

"I believe it is pronounced Yukotujakzurjimozoata."

"Ah. You may be right. He permits us to address him as 'Jack' or 'Your Magnificent Royal Majesty'. (As a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police though, I have explained to him my reluctance to use that second form of address.)"

"Quite a tough act to follow, I assume."

"Follow? Oh, we don't - that is to say: there's some very large beds in the palace. No need to take turns. And we all have our specialties, so to speak. (Mine seems to be to act as the one with only little experience in these sorts of things, which is a role that suits me quite well, given that it's almost entirely true.)"

"I happen to know one of Zuzha Yu's weaknesses in this regard. I may be willing to share this knowledge with you."

"You would, sir?"

"One word, Major. French maid costume."

"Oh, we wore those already."

 

Next time: will this marriage last beyond its honeymoon? Where are they going, anyway, and does anyone even care?

Plus: a new threat from the Plodex? A mysterious shadowy figure up to no good? Captain America pulling rank? (Spoiler alert: a Major is actually higher ranked than a Captain, although both may be outranked by a Magnificent Supreme Royal Majesty ... or not.)


End file.
